so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
