he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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