You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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