Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
