Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
