Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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