On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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