how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
