I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
