Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
