I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
