your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
