When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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