This girl is more easily done than said...
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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