Small penises have feelings too.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So. Much. Porn.
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