He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
