the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize