I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
