We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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