Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I faked an abortion last night.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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