I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
