I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
