My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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