he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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