Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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