I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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