I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
