Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
so let's talk penis.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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