Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
