I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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