Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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