Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize