So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
