And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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