Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So drunk its hurt
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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