I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I pour the whiskey from now on
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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