8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
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Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
