Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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