I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
