Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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