so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
