haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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