dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
