i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
this will be a night to untag.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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