I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
