you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I touched a dick in church today
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
