It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
