You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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