Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
