actually, I'm a sock model
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
FUCK WHALES
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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