STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize