the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Even my vagina gasped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize