***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
