it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
