around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
