If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
