Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
