loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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