Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
