Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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