I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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