I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
