hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
