The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
