when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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