Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
