It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
