Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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